It's Been Far Too Long...

Alas, Methinks I have taken to long to post a blog, pray, grant me thy forgiveness. Mayhaps?

ANYWAY. I'm back, baby. And, even though it is way past Valentine's Day, I feel the need to give to you all of my great wealth of knowledge I have acquired on the subject of romance. I obviously have much experience with Love. Yeah. Right. But that doesn't mean I can't give you crappy advice anyway.

For the record, guys stink. Both literally and figuratively. Well atleast the straight ones. Recently I have realized just how wonderful gay men are.

List Of Reasons Why I Love Gay Men:
1. Perfect Hygiene
2. Fabulous Fashion Sense
3. Perfect Hygiene
4. As your best friend they will never all of a sudden lose their minds and decide to fall in love with you
5. Perfect Hygiene
6. They understand how you think
7. Perfect Hygiene
8. They can talk about their feelings
9. Perfect Hygiene
10. They actually WANT to go shopping with you
11. Clinton Kelly


"If you're a bird, I really REALLY hope you're not quoting The Notebook'
The Notebook is on my list of stupidest movies of all time. Nicholas Sparks is on my hit list. If you cried while watching The Notebook, I'm afraid that I don't know you anymore. Instead of creating your idea of true love based on the Notebook, why not choose a better, more suitable movie?

List of Movies That Portray Love More Realistically Than The Notebook:
1.Psycho (That guy loved his mom so much he wanted to grow up to be just like her!)
2.Chicago (well not the whole movie, just the song "Cell Block Tango" Yay murder!)
3. Romeo And Juliet(Having trouble with the in-laws? Try double suicide!)
4. Any of the High School Musicals ( bad singing+ bad acting+ bad dancing= True Love)
5. Gone With the Wind (Love doesn't always have a happy ending, and frankly my dear, I don't give a damn)

I could go on with this list forever, because pretty much ANY movie portrays love better than the Notebook, but I don't feel like it. Oh well.


As always, please forgive me for this horid waste of your time, you may congratulate yourself for surviving it.